Jesus>Religion

I hate talking Religion. I really really do. And I gotta say this video that my cousin posted on Facebook perfectly explains my point. If I could put into words and tell you exactly how I feel, this video would be exactly what I would say.

*Watch the Video first

There was some debate on FB about it but I refrained from commenting even though I really just wanted to bust out and explain what I think. And now a day later I feel like I need to write down my thoughts for my own self.

Let me preface this by telling you my journey. Which is probably in many ways or another similar to that of this man in the video.

I am Catholic. This I know. This I am sure about.

I was baptized into this religion. Baptism means our parents and Godparents will guide us into this faith. Teach us about it. And model it for us. So this foundation was set upon me. All I could do was grow from there. I never remember my parents being my models for my religion but I knew this is what they believed and this is what they followed. On the other hand my Abuelita and Abuelito were the two most influential people in my life when it came to knowing my faith and understanding my religion. I did learn the rules. I learned the prayers. I learned the commandments and what was right and wrong. You go to church on Sundays. For most of my childhood my parents didn't attend church regularly. There were times they did and we all went but for the most part my sister and I attended with our Abuelitos. It was boring, we didn't understand, but even through all that I listened and paid attention. What my parents did do was enroll us into catechism classes and it was there we learned the bible. We learned our faith. And I began to learn how much Jesus loves us. How much God loves. And how much in turn I loved Him. And I continued on this path of learning and growing and I enjoyed it very much. I was blessed to have these wonderful catechism teacher and my Grandparents to be there whenever I had a question or needed some understanding.

When I was 16 I had my confirmation. Confirmation, to confirm my faith and everything that had been taught to me since I was a little girl. Up until this point I knew I did want to be a Catholic person. Someone who would eventually be saved and could join Him when my time came. And in order to do this I had to believe. I had to believe and do everything in my power to be a good person, the person that God planned me to be. I accepted this and agreed to continue on my journey to grow and learn even more what my faith was about. Because I did have faith. And I chose this without the push of my parents or anyone, but with the foundation they gave me as my platform. And I continued on to become a leader for the next years Conformation students. I did this for 2 years. And I loved it. I loved teaching them what I knew and loved learning things I didn't.

Fast forward a year. Due to poor choices I became pregnant. And through the first few months I still maintained my place in the church. I still went regularly, I still helped lead the confirmation classes, and even more I looked for guidance in the words of the bible. I knew it was going to be a challenge and tried to understand it all with the help of my church. But that's not what happened. Instead for the most part, (there were a handful of fantastic people who became my only support throughout this time besides my parents) I was looked down upon. I was out casted. And then I decided to go to confession. I knew what I did was wrong and not of the way it was taught to me. I had a great relationship with the priest at that time and talked about it. He made it clear to me that sinning did not make me a bad person. It made me human. If I was truly sorry for my sin I would be forgiven. The act of going to confession was to be truly sorry and have the intention of not committing sin again. But to live life according to God's plan. And that is what I tried to do. But regardless I took a year off of church because it got to the point that I felt like I was a horrible person for being there. I was treated like I committed a sin and it would stick with me forever and no matter how I tried to right that sin it would never be right.

And my journey in the church life came to an end. Soon after my husband and I started taking classes to be married in the church. And with each and every class we took (we were the youngest couple and the only ones who already had children, 2 at that point) we were out casted further. And constantly questioned indirectly if we should really be getting married through the church. My husband who believe is God and believes in Jesus but has never liked the idea of organized religion. I tried so hard to see it his way but I was taught and raised differently so in my mind I thought there was no other way to do things than the way the church has told us. Even though as much as I tried to get back on track and kept getting knocked down by older adults at church who looked down upon me. I could tell each class would make him more and more uncomfortable and honestly it was doing the same for me. Weren't these the people who should be teaching us and helping us to live our life in accordance to the rules set before us? It made no sense to me. And then one day it did.

It was then that I realized I knew who I was and that I was a good person. I knew that God had forgiven me. I also knew that I may fall back into temptation again but as long as I followed him and continued to try that I was doing just what he wanted of me. And it was then that I decided I didn't want to marry in the church. And we quit. I never went back after that. I felt defeated. And I felt like I was losing my faith. I had so many questions... Why would God make it this impossible to get married and try and fix my life and put it back onto the path that he wanted me to? And that's when I realized it wasn't God. My faith in him had never wavered. But it was the church. The people who walked around like they were better than me and ran the show. It was them who I lost my faith in. It was the church who said, do EXACTLY as we say or else you're wrong.

And that's why I completely understand and agree with this video. I believe the guy could say he was also in a similar position. Putting on a front. Would it be better to go to church every Sunday when everyone can see but commit sin every other day of the week in hiding? I love when he said he doesn't have to hide his sins. Because that what I felt I wasn't doing. Yes I sinned, and yes it was wrong, but I was there to correct it and to learn and move on.

It wasn't until about a year ago when I finally came to a realization. I love my religion and I love being Catholic. But I disliked the church. In the video my favorite line has got to be, "It's not a museum for the good people, it's a hospital for the broken" I believe that's what it should have been for me. A hospital to build me back up not continue to doubt myself and tear me down. Denying the church is not denying God. God knows we're not perfect but the church expects us to be?

With all this said, I did take a step a few weeks ago to register as a member of my church once again. Because through it all and with everything aside it is the foundation of it's teachings that I want my children to learn. I have an almost 9 year old, and he being the oldest, still has no concept of the religion I baptized him into. And I alone cannot answer all his questions. He needs to be taught, as well as my girls, what being a Catholic is all about. And what God did by sending Jesus to us. I hope that all these years later the church can finally show me the acceptance that I always felt I didn't have and then maybe... I can continue to grow and expand once again.

Wish me luck.

Date Night & Encanto Park

I was having a bad first week in the new year. Just a lot of things piled up on my plate at once. So Friday night my husband asked me out on a date.

We headed to BJ's Restaurant for dinner. I had never been but my husband had been a couple times before and he loves the Beignet dessert they have there.


I ordered this grilled chicken sandwich with avocado, bacon, on a parmesan grilled sourdough bread. It was delicious! And I got the really skinny fries and they were so good. I also ordered the homemade mac and cheese and it was so much food we took most of it home. Of course for dessert we ordered the beignets and they were HEAVEN! Mmm!

Afterward we went to the movies and finally watched Breaking Dawn! It was a good night with my love :)

The next morning we woke up and I decided that we should head over to Enchanted Island at Encanto Park. The husband and I used to take the kiddos to Encanto park all the time when they were little (Diego and Alayna) and ever since we had Arielle and Atalie we haven't even been back. Plus I had bought one of the deals they put on groupon back in August and still hadn't used!

The kids were completely surprised when we pulled up because they had no idea we were going. I never tell them ahead of time when we are going somewhere. I don't like them to be disappointed when plans fall through.

The weather was perfect! And I enjoyed SOOO much spending some time with my family with no stress and just having tons of fun together.





We started off by eating some lunch and filling them up with sugar churros.


Mid-meal we saw Pete the Parrot walking and the kids wanted a picture... but Arielle would NOT go anywhere near him.


Jr decided to get the kids faces painted and they thought it was the most awesome things! LOL Oh the simple joys!


Then it was on to ride the rides. I think it is hilarious that they have all of like 10 kiddie rides there and my kids were having a blast haha! There was even one ride that Diego was too "tall" to get on! I usually have a problem with my kids being too short.





They lasted a few hours running around riding the rides over and over and then we decided to head over to the train for our last ride.













Seriously my day couldn't have been more perfect! I was a happy girl :)




Jr thought it would be afun to walk around the park and take the kids over to the playground... so that's what we did.








Lastly, we stopped to feed the ducks. This was my favorite picture from the entire day... my whole world in one photo. Perfection.


In the famous words of Ice Cube "Today was a good day"

(Well except for when I got home and my brother said, "Quick call the cops... someone stole my sister's ass!)

And a game of Monopoly U-build as a family before heading to bed.

It's 2012!

New Years Eve was a very kick back day. My kids an I were alone just us for most of the day. This is the first time this has happened for about two months. During the week I have 6 or 7 kids depending on the day... and on the weekends I have 8 kids in my care. It's been insane around here! And it was such a quite relaxing day. I kept getting up thinking "I should be cleaning..." "I should be folding the piles of laundry..." "My floors need mopping badly!" But instead I sat around all day with all 4 of my kids on one couch watching movies and looking at books with Atalie who doesn't have an attention span for a movie but LOVES books. It felt good actually. So instead I just savored the day.



And I even had time to do my girl's hair all pretty. They chose the styles and we had fun curling their hair.





But about 5:30pm my brother arrived home from work with his 4 kids in tow. So while they played I got ready for the evening.





My husband decided we should have date night since my brother agreed to watch our kids. And I got a GC for Olive Garden (my favorite restraunt) from my Bestie Tiffany (Thanks!) for Christmas so it was perfect!



It was nice to have some alone time away from a million kids with just my Hubby.

We got to talk about what we wanted to accomplish in 2012. And I am glad to know we are totally on the same page :)

We got home around 10:45pm and hung around waiting for midnight watching the different New Years Eve specials on TV. 2 minutes before midnight me and Jr woke up Diego and Alayna who had just fallen asleep about 5 minutes before... and joined my brother and my 2 nieces who were also falling asleep in the living room for the countdown. We cheered quietly because both babies and both 3 year olds were asleep (oh wait Juanito is 4 not 3 oops!). Hugs were exchanged between all of us and we were all off to bed. Party animals right?!



This morning I slept in. Thanks Hubby for always holding down the fort for me! And once I got up we all got ready and got the kiddies ready to head to the park.

My husband's new resolution is to spend lots of extra alone time with our son. My husband works soooo much and come home late and tired that he tries to devote a lot of time to the kids once he is here. But splitting himself 4 ways... and then adding me into the mix after work is not easy. Diego misses him more than anyone and he tells him all the time. The girls love their Daddy but they don't need the one on one time that Diego craves. So today he took Diego to buy a football and they played in the park a few hours while I had the 3 girls on the playground. Nothing makes me happier than to see my husband making the effort to make sure our only boy feels special. And to see my son with a smile on his face after 2 hours of uninterrupted time with his Daddy is priceless :)

As for me and the girls... we had a blast on the playground. Atalie loves the slides!









Afterward, my Daddy invited us to his house for a carne asada. His fiance Abby is in town for the weekend so we spent the rest of the day with them.





It's always a great time with my looney familia!

The Search for Lalaloopsy

What is a Lalaloopsy you ask?

If you don't have a little girl then let me fill you in. They have been big since last Christmas. They are these cute dolls modern "rag dolls" with big heads. They are supposedly sewn from a piece of clothing and each one had a theme. One is sewn from a clowns costume so therefore she takes on that personality. and each one has a pet to match. My daughter mentioned them since last Christmas so I knew what they were. As it got closer to her birthday this year in July she asked for one. That's all she wanted. And we never got it for her. But her obsession continued on. I bought her a book of them. It tells their stories of how they came to be. And she studied it and learned them all.

Then I started liking them too. The more she talked about them... the more I learned about them and I even follow them on FB haha! Her and I obsess over their cuteness when a new one comes out. She has her favorites and I have mine. Yes! They're that cute! Don't judge me!

So this year the plan was to FINALLY buy her one of the full size dolls. I had been scoping them out since October hoping to see if I find her favorite one. I figured with plenty of time before Christmas I might as well try and get her the one she loves the most. Well one thing after another happened and we had done all our shopping and that was the ONLY thing we hadn't bought. Oh and did I mention this was on the night before Christmas Eve?

All the week prior I had been sure I could just walk into a store and grab one... any one... because at this point, a week before Christmas I just wanted to give her any of them. But nope. For 7 days straight I hit up every store near me... sometime more than once a day to get my hands on one. And there were none. I called Targets, Toys R Us, and Walmarts not in my area. And nothing. No one could tell me where to find one. No one had them on their shelves. All they could say was whenever they did get a couple in they would be gone in a second. And of course no one could hold one for us.

So I told my husband, we are going to go look for that doll! He didn't really want to at first but I felt so bad that she didn't even own one stinkin doll and had been loving them for a year! I knew it would just make her Christmas! And I love nothing more than to see my kids faces light up! So our search began at 7pm. The game plan? Walk in, check the Lalaloopsy section, and head out quickly if we didn't find one. We hit about 6 different store before I got a call from my cousin to fill us in on our Christmas Family Gathering. It was in this conversation that we learned... she too had been on the hunt all week for one of these dolls for her daughter. And she was out doing the very same thing! So I told her if we found some I'd pick one up for her and vice versa.

After we hung up with her, Jr and I still hit up a Target, a Walmart, a Kmart, and were headed to another Walmart over by my sister's house. It was the 10th store that night. (And while we were in each store I was still phoning other stores seeing if they had any on the shelves... gotta multitask!) It was close to midnight and as we walked into this particular Walmart it had turned into a game for us. A challenge. More than ever we wanted to find a doll because of all the time we were investing. As we approached the toy aisle we split up as we had been doing. I realized Jr had gone the wrong way so to beat him I beelined it to the girls aisle. (I know how all these Walmarts are set up like the back of my hand) He is faster than me and we turned into the same aisle from opposite ends at the same time. But I was right there. I looked at the section of Lalaloopsies.

My heart sank. Nothing but mini ones again. As we started to push around the toys to see towards the back if one was hiding back there... a stocker put down 3 small boxes by my feet. I don't know if you'd noticed how they stock at Walmart but they lay the boxes down on the ground in front of the sections they go and someone else comes and unloads the stuff onto the shelf later. So irritated and in a hurry I start shoving the boxes with my feet over to the side. And I continue searching the back of the shelves when I hear my husband scream, "You idiot! (In a loving way of course) By your foot!"

He reaches down and tears open the boxes to expose 9 full size Lalaloopsy dolls. Victory was ours! I literally screamed and jumped up and down as he pulled out each different one they had so I could choose. Out of the 9 there were 4 different ones. And he stood there clutching them in his arms while we laughed and laughed and basked in our glory. The stocker who heard our commotion was laughing at us because he noticed he had just put it down and we went crazy. He told us that every time he restocks them they would be gone in a flash. So as we stood there a man turns the corner and also spots them and snatches one up. He tells us, "I have been looking mad for one of these!" And in under a minute more customers grab the remaining ones we didn't have and they were all gone.

I called my cousin to come meet us to get hers. I called my sister to share my excitement. I texted my friends who I had on the hunt all week in their areas looking for them too. We were quite literally on a high! As we got to the registers my husband has decided that she was getting all 4 of them. (Plus the one boy doll we had in the car that we found at a Target a few hours before and bought just in case we never found a girl doll. Because at that point even the one boy doll was a victory) So we bought them all, and I made sure he price matched for Target's price because my husband will always overspend.

I was most definitely a happy camper. We both were!

Here's my cousin's husband Frank and my husband Jr posing outside after our Success!


So dear child of mine, this smile on your face says it all. One happy little girl with all her Lalaloopsy Dolls. Mommy and Daddy... err I mean Santa... will seriously do anything to make sure you're happy!


And in case you're wondering one of the ones that we snagged was actually her favorite doll and her 2nd favorite doll. And I had never seen either of them in the whole 2 months I was looking prior to Christmas.

Christmas!

The anticipation of Christmas had finally arrived! And now it's gone...

We celebrate on Christmas Eve and I was getting ready for that evening my sister and brother-in-law Loyiel gave me my gift early. And I was so excited!

I got my 4th pillowpet and the one I have been wanting for a while now.


See, I absolutely LOVE the movie Despicable Me. Like love love LOVE it. Just ask anyone. I quote this movie in my daily life all the time. (But then again when don't I quote movies?) I even taught Atalie how to say Popoy hahaha! And in the movie, if you haven't seen it, the little girl wants a unicorn toy (popoy) and when she sees it she says "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!"

Well one day we were at Walmart and I saw it (I have a fascination with Pillowpets anyway) and I screamed, "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!" and ran over to it and hugged it and begged for it. Just like in the movie. Well the boys (my hubby and his brother) did not buy it for me because my hubby had just bought me the zebra one. And I was sad.

But moral is, I am sad no longer because I have it! And I named her Agnes after the little girl in the movie. And my brother-in-law says he has done his good deed for the year. Better late than never... considering there's only a week left.

Anywho... we got ready and headed over to dinner at my aunts house. Our plan was to make it to Mass at church but due to technical difficulties we didn't make it and I was pretty bummed.

So my husband decided to show me some love to make me feel better.


But while we waited we took advantage and I got a few pictures of my minions all dressed up! (Wait, that was another Despicable Me reference...)






And the baby girls of the family stopped long enough to get ONE picture of them... Miss Laila and Miss Atalie Belle Pepper


And I had to bribe Talie with a cookie to pose for this one with me... but she is a good little poser.


My baby boy and my Pops


My Sisterface, My Pops, and Me!


Not too long before midnight we came back to my house to see what Santa left for us! And boy was that room full of stuff!

The kids literally oohed and aahed when they walked in the front door... and Atalie quickly ran up to her pink car! I don't know how she knew it was even hers... but Daddy stuck her right in.


Then we all opened our gifts. We made out pretty great. the kids were happy... beyond happy. I was happy because my hubby got me a few things I have been wanting.

I loved watching my kids faces light up. And most of all I loved watching Atalie open gifts because I thought she wouldn't know what to do. And literally whispered Wow every time she found out what was behind the paper :)


Diego got tons of Cardinal gear and some outdoor toys. We steered clear of electronics or video games. Alayna had a Lalaloopsy Christmas. She is obsessed and I think I love them just as much now! Arielle had a Disney Princess theme going on. And she is the biggest Disney Princess fan. And Atalie got a few cute things and the best $5 I've ever spent... on a magnadoodle. That girl loves to draw (just look at my walls) and she still has yet to put down that magnadoodle. She even sleeps with it.




Christmas day for me is always chill and play with all the new toys day. My brother was given a ham from work and so he my brother-in-law cooked it up and we went to have dinner at their house.


It was a beautiful day and the weather was fantastic that we played outside all afternoon! My 2 oldest and my nephew got roller blades and so they learned really quickly how to use them! And Atalie got to ride around in her new car.



My baby girls are so beautiful. These two are literally my sunshines.


Arielle thinks she IS Rapunzel and I knew she'd love this gift.



While my niece Laila took a turn in Tal's car... she played with one of Laila's toys and didn't like that Uncle Oscar was trying to play too...


I had to go inside to finish making the mashed potatoes for lunch and the 3 older kids on blades kept coming in and out of the house. I repeatedly told them to go back outside because they would slip on the tile. They had never been on roller blades before and I knew someone was bound to slip and fall. And I was right... Alayna tried going over to get some water and slipped but grabbed onto the water dispenser and knocked it over on top of her. The whole 5 gallon jug landed on her head. Poor girl.


But Grandpa makes everything better.


And then we ate our delicious dinner :) Yum!


And Arielle HAD to sit on the same seat as her brother... even when there was extra chairs. That girls idolizes him. And I love that he just lets her as long as it makes her happy. I kept asking her to give him his own chair and he kept telling me that he was fine :)


After dinner we opened up my Just Dance 3 game for the Wii and danced. I still remain the Queen of that game. I rock!

And then we came home where my husband spent the whole night assembling all the kids gifts. While I watched The Grinch!


We had the best Christmas! My kids are enjoying all their gifts. And we're enjoying spending all our time together just hanging out playing.

Tonight my husband, the kids, and I played on the Wii for almost 2 hours. It was so much fun :) I love family time... and the holidays bring us even closer together.