Dear Diego,
Of all the people I know and of all the situations I have faced in my 26 years of life... you are the person who has changed me the most. I can say it was me and take the credit but really... it was ALL you. I can say my Mom, who helped me grow into the person I am today, changed my life... but really she didn't. It has always been you.
At age 17 I was scared to find out about you. I had a flood of emotions run through me. Worry. How on earth would I be able to be a mother? I didn't even like kids! Sadness. I didn't feel like I was worthy enough at that age to have someone as precious as you. Afraid. Afraid that I would never be the kind of mother you deserved. But then ultimately excited. As you started to grow within me... suddenly I didn't feel so young anymore. I felt like I needed to step up and be whatever it was you needed me to be. And although I didn't know exactly what that entailed when you were born and I was just 18... I knew I had to just take things as they came.
And when you were born you comepletely changed me. My outlook on life was different. Everything was happy just because you were there by my side. Your smile made me smile. Your laugh made me happy. And although I still didn't know which direction my life was headed, all I knew was that you were the single best thing that ever happened to me.
The timing may not have been perfect... but who is perfect anyway? I learned that with you I made mistakes and I still continue to make them even 7 1/2 years later. There's no right and wrong way to parent you but I am learning as I go along. Learning that you changed me into the kind of person who lives for her children and all she wants is her childrens happiness.
Becoming a mother changed me.
1 comment:
That is awesome!!! I love your letter to Diego, it was beautiful.
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