The Queen: Michelle

The Queen: Michelle
I am 28 years old. Still a princess but the queen of my family. Spoiled beyond belief. Lucky and truely blessed. A lover. A crafter. A mother. A wife. A friend. This is me.

My King: Junior

My King: Junior
The LOVE of my life! He completes me and balances me out in every way. He's a workaholic. He's loud, blunt, and crazy. He drinks Monsters like his life depends on it. Above all he is the greatest Daddy I could ever ask for, for my children. And he treats me like his Queen (and he calls me that too).

The Model Child: Diego Ray

The Model Child: Diego Ray
9 years old. My only boy. He is the epitome of the perfect child. He is so responsible and independent. Wise beyond his years. He is laughter, he is love, he is compassion, he is simply amazing. He keeps me grounded and reminds me always that I am beautiful. He is a natural born leader and takes care of the household and family better than me!

The Diva: Alayna Danae

The Diva: Alayna Danae
7 years old. She is drama. My fashionista for sure with a style all her own. Sensitive and loving when she wants to be. Thumbsucker. My biggest headache because she is the most like me. She is the only one who can cause me to become uncontrollably angry. She loves to dance. She loves to model. My bookworm and most academic.

The Wild Child: Arielle Marie-Grace

The Wild Child: Arielle Marie-Grace
4 years old. This one is something else. She is pure comedy. Never a dull moment with her crazy antics. She is also the crybaby. She does things her own way. She knows what she wants and isn't afraid to be cute to get it. My Disney loving pal. So girly. Her favorite color is pink. Loves Rapunzel. Will wear a dress every single day. Can't leave the house without a bow in her hair. She refuses.

The Munchkin: Atalie Belle

The Munchkin: Atalie Belle
2 years old. My sweet baby. She loves her Mommy above all else. She is a cuddlebug for sure. The calmest most well behaved baby ever! But she has TONS of energy. She is so small and petite. She loves to sing and dance. She so SO ready for ballet and has yet to even step foot in a class. She loves Minnie Mouse and watching Disney Jr. She is hilarious and talks way too much.
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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Friday the 13th is Awful

So I wake up yesterday morning and I realize it's Friday the 13th. Wow. Cool. I hadn't even noticed it before then. So I get ready to start my day. I feed and bathe all three kids, myself, and make sure my husband gets ready for work and are out of the house by 10am. It was gonna be a good day since I had a play date at my friend Lindsay's house with some girls from our playgroup... or so I thought...

I get to Lindsay's house at 11:00, right on time, and I am the first one there. Cool. I am never early anywhere I go! So the kids are playing and having a good time and us mom's are sitting around talking. I get a phone call from my mother in law and it goes a little something like this...

Me: Hello
MIL: Hey how are you doing is everything fine? (Sounding kinda anxious and worried)
Me: Yes everything is ok... (sounding kinda confused by her tone) Why?

Then I tell myself... I am on the phone with my Mother in Law... she's a strange creature. Her and I don't get along much anymore (we used to up until a year ago when I got married) and she never calls me... So we continue...

MIL: Is Jr at work?
Me: Yes I dropped him off a couple of hours ago... why?
MIL: Where are you at?
Me: I came to my friend Lindsay's house for a play date with a group of moms and all of our kids. WHY?

Can you sense that I am still not fully understanding why I am even on the phone with this lady?!

MIL: And the kids? How are they?
Me: They're fine. They're playing. And they've been good.
MIL: Oh ok... well God bless you guys and I love you.

Ok totally weird.

So I am left with a weird feeling after talking to her. Her and I don't have the best relationship. Long Story. But it stems back from the fact that she can't stand me, or my mom, and although she pretends to... she can't stand my sister either. My sister and I are both married to her two youngest sons (which drives her crazy that we "took" them from her (as she puts it) and we all used to live here at MY mom's house. Although my sister and her husband are now in their own house, Jr and I are still here at my mom's. And nothing drives her more crazy than to see her son depending and putting his trust into any other female... whether it be me (his wife) or my mom (his mother in law).

It's no secret that we've had our share of problems with money and what not. Most are from bad choices we made when we were younger... but a lot of it is just pure bad luck. Because no matter how hard we try to fix our situation... as soon as something starts to look up for us... we're quickly reminded how much our life can suck.

So she does everything in her power to kick us when we're down. And she hates the fact the my parents are the complete opposite and no matter what problems we face they help us out. She HATES it! But come on... I am not begging for support here... we truly have had a hard time. I personally thank God everyday for my parents. They love me and my family... and without them I certainly don't know what we'd do. I don't like to seem like I hate her... because in reality I don't. She's a nice and sweet person some of the time... but pretty much ever since I have known her she makes Jr feel like he's a screw up... like he's not good enough... and like he's not worthy of her love. (This all from his own mouth... and also from the confirmation of seeing it happen first hand.)

So back to my story. So since we only have one car... I dropped Jr off at work in the morning and drove to Lindsay's house. I left her house a little before 4pm and Jr didn't get out of work until 7pm. So to kill time I decide to go to my BFF Jazmine's house so that I wouldn't have to drive all the way back home before going to pick him back up. It was a hot day and gas is $4 a gallon! So I hang there for a while and then leave again to pick up my husband and get home after a long day. As I am turning into the parking lot the car makes a funny noise and sounds like the engine had stopped but the car was still on. I thought maybe it was because the AC was on full blast. So I quickly shut off the AC completely... we were already there after all. And continue to accelerate a little and the car goes back to sounding normal. It freaks me out a little bit especially since I have my 3 kids in the backseat. So I see a parking spot right in the front and quickly pull in and park. When I am parking the car slightly jolts like if I had pressed on the breaks but I hadn't. So I park it... shut off the car quickly and text Jr that I am outside.

He comes out not even 5 minutes later and I tell him that his car just started making funny noises as I was turning into the parking lot. He turns the car on to see what what I am talking about (of course laughing at me because I know nothing about cars and can only describe things by showing him visuals and adding sound effects)... he sees that something is definitely wrong and turns off the car... all the while repeating a profanity over and over. I remind him that the kids are awake in the backseat and the slight overuse of the "F" word is not a good idea. He lifts the hood and says, the car overheated and it sound like you blew the engine or the gaskets. I stand there semi confused because he's speaking in a foreign language and staring at him to see if he by chance would translate what he just said into terms that maybe I could understand. Well he doesn't and I watch him unscrewing this cap that he says is to the part that holds the water... and after a few minutes of trying to get it unscrewed the cap blows off shooting some green-tinged water all over the place like Old Faithful. Luckily I had already been standing far enough back that nothing happened to me... but my husband was splashed with this hot, icky water. After completely scaring the living daylights outta me and making me scream... I run to get my kids out of the car for fear that it may just explode... not likely of it happening but hey... that's what I thought.

So we call my mom to come get us since she was just getting off of work and worked near there. We sit and wait for her (outside of the car) and I see Jr's mind racing a mile a minute. That's how he gets when something happens. He stresses about and it and it's all he can think about. So I of course start feeling really bad. He sees my face and asks what's wrong. I ask him, "Are you mad that I broke your car? I didn't mean it. I don't know what to do if a car overheats... and if you don't want me driving it anymore I understand. It's probably gonna cost a lot to fix it huh?" And he says to me, "Don't worry it's not your fault. I didn't check it to make sure it was running good enough for you to drive it. It's gonna cost us a lot but we'll figure it out." Of course I feel so sad because Jr does everything he can to make sure me and his kids are always taken care of and happy and it hurts me to see the disappointment in his face. Not towards me, but towards that fact that he struggles so much, after all he just started working 3 weeks ago (after more than 6 months of not having a steady job, moving to Tucson and then having to move back, etc)... and things can't just be good... they only get worse.

My mom finally arrives, it didn't take her very long, and we decide that the kids and I will go home with her and Jr will attempt to drive the car to his mom's house to see if we could keep in there for 2 days until Jr could figure out what we need to do to fix it.

After we get home I call him to make sure he made it to his mom's ok. He sounds upset.

He tells me that his mom picks a fight with him and tells him that his car is broken because of his own fault. That he never does anything right... that he sucks at life... and no she isn't gonna let him keep the car there... and she's not helping him with anything so not to even ask. He tells her that he doesn't want her help with fixing the car but that all he wants was to keep the car there until tomorrow (his day off) when he could go back and try to fix it. She then goes on to say that maybe if his wife (meaning me of course) wasn't such a horrible mother it would have never happened. (What that meant or had anything to do with the car is beyond me but she likes to start drama... it's her nature) This makes him furious that he drags me into the conversation (because he knows how many times she's talked bad about me to my face and I stood there and took it out of respect for her being his mother) and he asks why she's saying that. She said that I am a bad mother because when she called me earlier in the day I was at my friend's house... and that I shouldn't be focused on taking the kids over to other people's houses and be more focused on making sure the kids are going to their Dr. appointments. What this meant... again... beyond me. My kids all go to their doctor regularly... they are all up to date on their shots. Diego has an appointment next month for his physical since he is starting kindergarten, Alayna has her yearly well-check in September, and Arielle is only 2 months but is current on her shots and is doing perfectly fine. So when I hear this I am outraged at the fact that she is being mean over something that doesn't even make sense. I am not a perfect mother but I do my best everyday to do what's right for my kids and for someone like her to say that I am unfit is ridiculous. She doesn't know what kind of parent I am when she only sees me like once a month. And my parenting skills or lack of, have nothing to do with the car overheating.

Jr gets home and my mom and I are waiting for him in the computer room. (yes he did drive the car all the way home like that) He immediately breaks down into tears. I have NEVER in the 4 years we've been together seen him cry. I didn't know what to do but throw my arms around him and tell him over and over that he doesn't need to focus or stress over negativity... and know that he has a wife and 3 kids who love him more than anything. Seeing those tears roll down his cheeks and onto his dirty muscle shirt brought tears to my eyes as well ( I am tearing up just thinking about it again)... but I contained my emotions because I didn't want him to feel even worse. I am not sure what my mom was feeling at the moment but she did tell him... "I may only be your mother-in-law but I love you too". That definitely brought tears to my eyes. That was an emotional moment for me because 4 years ago she couldn't even stand Jr. And now she's the only one who is there for Jr and I. (Along with my daddy of course).

So it was a tough night for us. We went to bed early. Well earlier than usual because 11pm is not early.

And now that I have had time to clear my head I sit here with pure frustration and anger that his mother could be so mean. I know that's how she is. She belittles all her children, plays favorites with them, and turns them against once another... and as if that wasn't bad enough... she disowns them at the drop of a hat. It makes me very sad that a woman can be like this to her own children. And makes it even worse when it starts to affect the one person who means the most to me (along with my children of course)... the person who has sacrificed so much to make me happy. I hold nothing against her but I don't think that I could ever look at her the same way again. Sure down the road he might forget all about this (he's got a good heart and always does) and decide to reconcile with his mother... but she's caused so much damage to him in his life (all from when he was growing up) that I can't see past this. She can hate me all she wants. She can think the worst things about me, and I can just brush it off because there always has been/and will continue to be people who don't like me. But how can she hate her own flesh and blood?

1 comment:

tiffandkevin said...

I think you are a great Mom. You put them first and that's what matters. I am so sorry your family had a rough night but you have been through more than this and you'll get through. I hope Jr. is able to fix the car and it doesn't end up costing too much.