As I get closer and closer to having this little baby... I get more impatient, more nervous, more scared, more excited. It's like a whirlwind of emotions all lumped into one.
I am tired of carrying her in my body. My back ACHES! I feel constant pressure in my tummy that doesn't go away. Makes it hard to walk.
I am actually kinda scared and nervous for this labor. Yes, I know... I've been through it 3 times. But not 3 times without my Mom. I seriously am wondering if Jr and I will panic all alone there in the delivery room. I have expressed to him that I would like to have it just be him and I in the room when I deliver. I know some of my family especially my Dad will be waiting in the waiting room anyway. In a way I feel like I don't want to replace her. She was always the only other person I wanted in the room with me even though at each of my deliveries I did have other people besides her and Jr. But she took over and got me through everything. She held my leg, inspired me to push, yelled at me when I would start to cry with a contraction and tell me to stop crying and breathe! She was also the one who was the first to run to see the baby and count every finger and every toe and tell me how perfect they were. Most of the time with camera in hand. And my Mom was bad with a camera... pictures or videos. But these are the things I remember. But then again, can I get all the support I need from just Jr? I am scared that he won't know what to do and just stand there. I mean my Mom did everything, rubbed my feet when they were swollen, massage my back through the contractions, and make sure I had enough ice chips and my celebratory meal afterward. I mean, who else is going to buy me WHATEVER the heck I want to eat and top it off with a Venti Frap?
But most of all I am excited. I am ready to meet this little girl that had been cooking in my tummy for almost 39 weeks. I have an appointment tomorrow with my Dr. and he said he'll schedule my induction. So I will have this baby pretty soon. I am ready for some sleepless night. Well not that my nights are filled with much sleep these past few weeks anyway. But I am ready.
And for fun... Here's my Mom's videos of when Arielle was born 2 years ago.
3 comments:
I'm excited for Miss Atalie too, mainly cuz her name is freaken awesome. :). You'll be fine though, and I think...I think Jr will be ok. Well honestly, he has no choice and I don't think he'll back down from the challenge. He'll man up and do that WOMANS job without a problem, just you watch!
Take a picture of her and put it next to your bed... It's what I plan to do! Stick the frame in your diaperbag now before you forget. Or the frame I made... Or both? I might do both now that I think about it...
Just remember she's not coming out when WE want her to because Mom is perfecting her...
Hmph... Made my own personal decision to not be induced thinking of it that way... D: that means my WATER is gonna hve to break naturally!!! My worst fear!!! Ahhh!
.... Anyway, cmon Atalie, your mother is ready for you!
I can't believe it's so close. She'll be here so soon!
I teared up watching those videos and hearing your mom's voice.
Yea...me too. Teared up, I mean. Those are such wonderful memories.
But I'm smiling as I type this=)
Tia Chely
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