That Was Me Then

Since my Dad went to California this weekend I sent with him and my sister my old external drive so that my cousin Crystal could send me some pictures she has. They are from the summer I spent there when Diego had just turned a year old. It was the summer I went with her to her Senior Prom. We had fun that summer. She graduated from High School, I attended her Grad Night with her at Disneyland, and we spent tons of time at the park and the Beach. So so fun. I was nineteen... well nineteen and a half.

So my Dad came and dropped it off for me along with some food from California... and I was so happy to open the external up and see these old pictures from almost 6 years ago. Before I had a digital camera. I didn't get my first one until the Christmas after that summer when my parents gave me one.

Diego was so cute. And there's a few videos on there of him. It's fun to remember how he was. My little chunky boy.

And holy cow do I look different! I was skinny still! Even a year after having Diego! And my hair... oh it makes me sad looking at the pictures. I loved my hair. I would give anything to have that hair back. But then again back then I had time to style it all the time... now it's always up in a bun. I wanna look like that again...

So let me share with you... me then...

My hair done for Prom


All ready to go to Prom


See I WAS skinny! And my baby boy was chunky!


Me and Crystal




This is after we got home at like almost 8am from Grad Night at Disneyland. That was like the best Disney Trip! No lines!


Beach!





And for fun here's Diego!!! Don't you just wanna squeeze him and love him?!

How weird it is to look back and remember when I was a new Mommy. Everything was all about having fun with my one little Prince. It's crazy how much has changed in 6 years. Just a few short months after all of this... Jr and I got together... and now look at us! Insane!

It's A Girl... Still...

We had our standard mid pregnancy ultrasound back in November. You know... the one where they make sure the baby is okay measure everything, check kidneys, spine, heart, etc.... AND you can find out the gender? Well I look forward to that every time. Most importantly to make sure baby is doing just fine... but also for inpatient, obsessed planners, like me... we get to find out what we'er having! As if a baby isn't enough right? But I gotta know!

The entire time leading up to this ultrasound this time, I had NO CLUE what I thought we were having. But 2 days before... I mentioned to Jr, "I think it may just be another girl". And sure enough we go in and they said it was a girl. It was hard to get a good view but the tech said she was pretty sure it was a girl.

Pretty sure?

Well she's the expert right?

And my little feeling was confirmed and for the 4th time I was correct on what I was having... even though we were hoping for a boy. My mind was only disappointed for about... 2 seconds... another girl! Heck yes! More tutus, more bows, more everything PINK! I was excited either way.

But Jr (although excited too) wasn't convinced she was really a she. Especially after Diego's disappointment of yet another sister. And since then they refuse to admit she's a girl. Jr already picked out her name but still wouldn't use it. He still referred to her as "him" or "the baby". So last week I told him, "I had a feeling she was a girl... and I am sure that she is... the experts know what they see." But still no convincing Mr. Junior.

He's talked for weeks and weeks about getting a 4d ultrasound done (since out Dr's office gave us a pamphlet) because our insurance won't cover any more ultrasounds unless the Dr. orders one. So today as we were out running errands he gets the bright idea to just get one. We happened to be driving by it and we went in. No appointment. But they they weren't busy so we went straight in. She had just finished up with another couple.

I've never had a 4d done so it was cool to actually see the baby. Looks like Jr again... I saw the forehead. So I guess none of my babies will ever look like me. It might be a good thing cuz my daughters are pretty dang cute so... I guess it's a good thing! She had her arm over her eyes sleeping the entire time! She tried and tried to wake her up and get her to move but she was stubbourn. She'd ocassionally move her arm a bit and shift around and then yawn after yawn the tech was taking pictures. She had me change positions a few times and then finally the baby had had enough and she woke up. You could even see her open her eyes... it was amazing! She continued to yawn and then brought her little foot up to her mouth and sucked on it for the remaider of the scan. It was really really cool.

I am so happy my husband did this for me, I wouldn't have wanted to do it if he tried to schedule an appointment ahead of time. But I really had no choice... he decided on a whim and then there we were! But it was awesome!

Oh and yes... we totally saw the girl parts clearly this time.



So she's still a girl...

And Jr's mind is now at ease. :)

Another Day In My Life

I had a Dr's appointment and Jr was going to Nogales so he took the girls to my sister-in-law so my mother-in-law could watch them all before I woke up in the morning.

So I woke up (later than I wanted but what's new) I had only 20 minutes before we had to be out of the house to take Diego to school. Thank goodness I showered the night before I would have been in trouble.

I got ready quick and Diego and I were out the door. Since I forgot my camera... yeah I was that in a hurry... all my pictures are with my cell phone.

8am dropped Diego off at school and drove to my appointment.

8:30am I got to my appointment and checked in. I was there for my glucose test. Joy. Wonderful. I was sooooo sleepy. Only 3 hours of sleep.

8:40am They called me back to do the usual... pee in a cup (yup still pregnant)... blood pressure (normal)... and weight (I gained 2 pounds since my last appt on Jan 7th. Which puts me at a grand total of 10lbs at 29 weeks.) Then I had to sit there and drink the wonderful fruit punch they provided. It's not really gross tasting... it just makes my tummy upset. Blah!

8:50am Back to the waiting room for my hour wait. Luckily I texted with Jr and my brother for 30 minutes which helped pass the time. And I had my ipod touch fully charged and was playing Uno.


9:30am They called me back into a room so I could see my Dr.


Once he came in he listened to the heartbeat (did I mention it's so weird to be at an appointment without Jr? He has gone to every appointment with me in all our pregnancies no matter what!) and the heartbeat was great. Then he measured my tummy. I am 28 weeks 5days (but who's counting) and I was measuring 30 weeks. Since my appointment on Jan. 7th I am measuring a week ahead size-wise. He said obviously it's not a big deal now... but if we continue this path he'll have to induce me (again I've done it 3 times... I kinda prefer it) because he wants to avoid a c-section since I am pretty petite. Okie dokie! Then he said wow 10lbs of gained weight so far is great! He says I can gain 1lb a week until the end of my pregnancy and still be perfectly fine. I said, "Dr. I really don't think I can handle 10 more lbs... seriously I look like I've gained 20lbs or more already!" Then I mentioned to him about being sick and stuff. And we talked and that was that.

9:50am Got my blood drawn. Fun stuff. Still beyond sleepy!


10:00am I was out of there! Time to pick up my girls!

10:15am Got to my mother-in-law's to get my girls. Found them with their hair like this!


Then I talked to my mother-in-law for a while... hadn't seen her in a month. And after I got my girls dressed for the day... I took a mini nap.

12:30pm Took Layna to school. And by this time I was starving.

12:45pm Decided that I didn't want to go home so Arielle and I went to have lunch at Peter Piper. Just her and I. It was so freakin fantastic! She had tons of fun. I got tired.


2:00pm We left Peter Piper and went home to see if we could get a nap in before picking up the kids from school... I needed sleep! On our little drive home... the sun finally came out.



And we DID nap shortly.

3:15pm Both of us woke up before either of us were ready... both of us grouchy... both still sleepy... but we had to get Diego from the bus stop. So here we go again...


3:25pm Diego's bus arrives! Yay! But I am sooooo thirsty!

3:30pm I remember Sonic's has half price drinks from 2-4pm and I can go get me a huge drink! So I get me a Strawberry Limeade, the kids a Cherry limeade, and some chicken sandwiches and fries.


3:40pm I need gas so I stop quickly to pump before Alayna gets out.


As I am leaving the gas station I am getting ready to pull out and as I start turning right and my stupid drink falls out of the cup holder (which won't actually hold a drink) and starts spilling. I put the car in park and reach over to get it... and what do you know... the stupid straw pierced straight through the bottom of the cup and it's leaking like crazy!! So I plug my finger into the hole and drive one handed to Alayna's school.

3:50pm We arrive at Layna's school and I remember that I had an orange water bottle in the back seat where I had drank water from. So Diego finds it and we pour their drink into the water bottle... easier for the kids not to spill... and I pour mine into their cup. All is well again.... except that my hand is all sore and cramped up from holding the cup on the drive.

4:00pm Layna is out! I can go home!!!

4:30pm I am finally home after a quick stop at my Dad to pick up a folder.

Then I cooked dinner for the kids and I was out! For the rest of the night! Ahhhhhh!

A Day In My Life

I follow a lot of blogs where they post often "A day in the Life" posts. They're so fun to see other Mom's days and how similar or different they are form mine. So I jumped on the bandwagon...

A brief look at a day in my life:

Woke up and got Diego up and ready for school... Jr picked him up to take him like every morning... and as soon as he was out the door...

I checked my emails, facebook, and movie downloads. Morning ritual.


And I admired the rainbow fish that diego made me


The girls woke up and Jr got home... and he brought breakfast from Jack in the Box. It's been a long time that we've bought breakfast... so that was good.


Then I took a little cat nap... while the girls watched cartoons. But let's get serious I hardly slept with them asking me something every 5 minutes... But Jr slept.


I got the Princess ready for school. Dropped her off. And since Diego had early realease I picked him up after I took her. And I had the baby with me today. I usually don't. So since this time of the day is very chaotic I took no pictures.

After we picked up Diego I headed to target in search of Dr. Seuss stuff for my sister-in-law's baby shower that I am planning... and it's in 2 weeks. No such luck...

But I did find popcorn box containers for the Diego/Arielle's joint birthday party in March... I am doing a Circus/Carnival theme.


And I did make it home with another purchase...


I put Arielle to bed while Diego and I worked on his homework


And I made lunch at the same time... and we ate.


By this time it was time for me to go pick up Alayna from school... so I left alone to get her.

And on the way back I decided to go to Savers to see if I could find Dr. Seuss books. They are expensive brand new so I figured it was worth a shot! Alayna was in book heaven at Savers... good thing the kids books are 60 cents and if you buy 4 you get one free.


After Savers, I went to my parents house to drop off some cards for my Dad from my Mom's funeral so he could keep them... and Alayna and I walked to picked up his mail and dropped it back off. We do this for him all the time.


Then Jr texted me to bring him a Monster... so I stopped at Circle K and I scored my new favorite drink... I've recently discovered it and I am hooked... better than all the Cherry Coke I drink cuz Crush has no caffeine!


Once we got home finally I showed Jr what I scored myself at Savers... it makes me so happy!

I did find 4 Dr. Seuss books (for Jen's shower) and I got Alayna a book since the 5th one is free. She chose The Grinch which is one of my most favorite books ever!


I got Alayna these shoes... which I have been on a hunt for some plain flats for her because she's outgrown all her shoes... and only her sneakers fit her now... and sneakers just don't go with dresses. I paid $3.99 for these! They're from Target (circo brand) and looked brand new! Score!


And lastly I found these! The first purchase I have made for the new baby. Since I don't need a lot of clothes for her because I saved all of Arielle's I haven't had the need to really buy anything. But she does have a lack of clothes in the 6-9 month area I am noticing. And I saw these 2 things! Both 99 cents and both Carters. Very new looking (the pink dress looks like it's never been worn) and I just couldn't leave them. And what do you know... both 9 months size!


So then I made pizzas for dinner, we ate, and I worked on getting the invites finished for the baby shower


And then we all showered and got ready for bed... I got the kids stuff ready for tomorrow because I have a Dr. appointment first thing in the morning and I hate rushing.


P.S. If you look hard you can see Jr wrote "I Luv U" on the shower door. The kids get a kick out of the pictures we make while in the shower so I tried to capture it. I'll have to try again another day...

I'm in Shape. Round is a Shape...

I haven't talked about this pregnancy much and people are starting to question me... cuz I usually can't contain my excitement about my pregnancies. So let me clear the air. I AM VERY EXCITED!

Since October I was already focused on the holidays, and at that point I still didn't know the gender. My holiday christmas gift making was talking up all my time and then we moved.

In November is when we found out it was another girl! Yeah! But again not really anything for me to plan for. I have pretty much everything I need for this new baby except a playpen, high chair, and a carseat. But no big deal I still had a while to get these things. She doesn't need a high chair right away, and the playpen can wait until she's born. We'll be going to California a few weeks after her birth so I'll need it by then but no rush. So my carseat is my only main focus. But it doesn't mean I wasn't excited... it just wasn't like my other pregnancies where I was trying to decide on which travel system, which bedding set, and all that jazz.

Come December I was in the full holiday season mode! I love that time of year it's my favorite. So doing as many holiday activities with the kiddos is what took up my time. Then at the end of December is when we lost my Mama. So that was a major blow. And for the last 4 weeks it's just been a blur.

But I am very excited and now that we're entering February and my baby shower is getting closer I have to think about her more and start getting prepared. She'll be here in no time! April will be just around the corner! I still don't have a lot to prepare other than arranging the girls room and closet to start making room for her. But it will get done.

And it's still kinda hard because I am planning my sister-in-law's baby shower for mid February as well (since she's due just about 3 weeks before me), planning Diego and Arielle's birthday party (which will be joint because their birthdays are 8 days apart... and right before my due date), and plan my sister's baby shower so I don't have so much to do since I'll have a newborn baby by the time I have her shower. Ay yay yay!

So see? It's not that I don't care or that we're not excited. We are! I am just have so much else to do and think about that my time is not all spent planning for baby like usual.

So anyway... here's the evolution of me and Atalie. Don't judge me... I am in shape. Round is a shape.
P.S. I'll give you a better report on me and baby later this week. I have my glucose test on Thursday.

13 weeks


17 weeks


18 weeks


21 weeks


22 weeks


23 weeks


25 weeks


26 weeks




27 weeks




And I am now 28 weeks! 3rd Tri here I come... the home stretch. I'll post this weeks picture soon.

One Month

Here we are with my Mama. And to the right of her is my Abuelito (my Dad's dad).

Healing

Healing takes time and it's a process. This I am learning. I never expected to heal fast... I knew going into this that it would take us so time. And everyone heals at their own pace and in their own way.

Today was one month that my lovely Mama left us to be with God. It's still so weird for me to say that. To admit that she's no longer physically here. I still talk about her like she's here. I still talk about her in the present. And in a way I still can't seem to comprehend that she's NOT physically here with me. I still want to pick up the phone and call her for everyday things. And then I remember I can't. And it's those times that I find myself crying. Talking about her doesn't make me cry, relieving all of our memories with her doesn't make me cry, but thinking about all the things she's not here for makes me cry. Diego's first baseball game. She'd be so proud and happy. My daughter's quinceaneras. My vow renewal in Vegas.

But I suppose that's why we have this time to heal. To prepare for those situations that we know she'll be there for in spirit. And what's helped... out family has spent every second we can together in the past 4 weeks. I think we've gotten together ALMOST everyday since she's been gone. If I'm not with my Daddy, my sister is here, my brother is here, we're at my brother's, I cook and invite everyone over, we've gone quading, gone to lunch, gone to her favorite restaurants, gone to get a pedicure (her favorite thing to do), it's like constantly being out doing something and not being alone. And we all enjoy it. We're a little spoiled by it.

Some people deal with grief by going into hibernation and depression... I think that's not dealing with your grief. My Mom would never want to see us that way. I could hear her saying, "Why are you being stupid? Get up and stop wasting your life." And that's what gets me up out of bed in the mornings. We deal with grief by getting together and eating. Seriously all we've done the past 4 weeks is EAT! It's like the holidays on steroids. It's bad. But in a good way.

I miss her so much! I seriously never ever once in my life imagined not having her around. In a way I took her for granted. She is one of those people who you think is going to live forever. And the shock is still very much there. I know she's okay. And I know I will be okay. She was such a strong personality that even when she's gone she is going to do everything in her power to make us okay.

So I cry. I let it all out when I need to. I don't hold back. And then I feel better. Cooking has helped me. I get that from her definitely. She always said cooking relaxed her. And she's right, when I cook I can clear my head. And this is the way I am trying to heal. I've also gone to see her. Never in my life did I think I'd need to go to a cemetery to feel close to her... but I do. And so when I have a hard day I go to her... just like I would go to her house. It makes me feel better.

Jr is healing too. He still doesn't talk about her much but that's okay. Yesterday he got this.

Like I said... everyone heals differently and he seems much happier with it. It makes me happy to see him happy when he talks about her now. I thank God that Jr loves my Mom so much! And I thank God that my Mom allowed herself to see who Junior really is and loved him more than I ever thought she would. He really did hold her on such a high pedestal and loved her and took care of her just as he would to me. 5 years ago I would have never thought they would even get along... and now he says she was his only friend. And Jr has no friends.

So today some of us got together and we went to see her. It was freezing. My Dad took roses. I was sick in bed sleeping ALL day and only woke up to go see her. Afterwards we all came back to my house and ate chili dogs. It was good. I am glad we're all together in this because I so could not have done this alone.

And yes... that's a cigarette next to the roses...

Video Time!

Arielle is pure entertainment all the time...

Alayna is the best Rockband singer ever!

Arielle thought she was so hilarious!

The kids LOVE to play this...

Jr and Arielle cuddle and argue every morning!

Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall

“God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”



It's been raining here in Phoenix today. And to us it's kinda wonderful. We don't see rain often. So when I went to pick up Diego and Alayna from school I decided to take a gamble and take my camera with me. Luckily it wasn't raining out so I got Arielle off the car as we waited for Diego's bus. She got to play on the playground which she loves... and it's covered so the slides were dry.









But I really wanted Arielle to model for me... she wouldn't cooperate...




So Diego wanted to do it... but also lost interest after like one shot


So I decided to try some self portraits with my awesome umbrella! (Thanks Tiffany!) And it was hard to waddle myself into place and beating the self timer... haha.









And when we picked up Layna I couldn't leave her out!